


harm and foul

by iron_spider



Series: whumptober 2019 [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Protective Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 06:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21114215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iron_spider/pseuds/iron_spider
Summary: It’s Tony’s birthday, and just about every superhero known to man is here, all of them mingling with each other in the kind of scene any reporter would shit themselves over. Peter had been worried about the possibility of someone attacking them while they’re all gathered in one place, but Tony assured him that he had contingencies, and left it at that.But Peter isn’t worrying about that anymore. He’s staring over at Tony, who seems to be getting a gentle verbal-lashing from Pepper before she presses a hard kiss to his forehead, leaving him behind and on his own again. Tony’s been acting strange as hell for the past half hour or so—he was completely normal, talking to everyone, having fun, and then he—wasn’t. Then he got weird, started sitting alone, swaying and laughing at people who passed him by, no matter who they were.Peter doesn’t like it.





	harm and foul

**Author's Note:**

> this is for the whumptober prompt 'laced drink'!

The ever-present soundtrack of hard rock pulses through the room, despite the fact that most people are just standing around in small groups talking to each other. No one’s dancing. It’s another AC/DC song, Peter thinks—he isn’t completely sure. It’s Tony’s birthday, and just about every superhero known to man is here, all of them mingling with each other in the kind of scene any reporter would shit themselves over. Peter had been worried about the possibility of someone attacking them while they’re all gathered in one place, but Tony assured him that he had contingencies, and left it at that. 

But Peter isn’t worrying about that anymore. He’s staring over at Tony, who seems to be getting a gentle verbal-lashing from Pepper before she presses a hard kiss to his forehead, leaving him behind and on his own again. Tony’s been acting strange as hell for the past half hour or so—he was completely normal, talking to everyone, having fun, and then he—wasn’t. Then he got weird, started sitting alone, swaying and laughing at people who passed him by, no matter who they were. 

Peter doesn’t like it.

“I just talked to Maria Hill and I’m dead, Peter,” Ned says, throwing himself over the back of the couch. “I’m dead.”

“Mhm,” Peter grunts, still staring at Tony.

“What are you doing?” Ned says. He smacks him in the arm. “I know you’re around these people all the time, but I’m not, and I need you to be more excited.”

“Only like six of these people know who I really am, not including you,” Peter says, in a hushed breath.

“Is he acting weird?” Ned asks, and Peter glances down at him, sees him looking at Tony now too. “Why do you keep staring at him?”

“He’s acting weird,” Peter says, watching as Tony covers his face with a very limp hand. 

“Maybe he’s just a little drunk,” Ned says, hitting Peter again. “I mean, it’s his birthday, Peter, cut him some slack.”

“He barely drinks nowadays, even on special occasions,” Peter says. His spidey sense is going off like crazy, and he doesn’t understand what else it could possibly be. There’s no way there’s someone in here that shouldn’t be, is there? Peter sighs, glancing down at Ned. “I don’t know, I feel weird. I feel like something’s wrong.”

“Is, uh, Miss Potts worried?” Ned asks, finally tuning in for real.

“I think she’s distracted,” Peter says. “She’s the one that always oversees this stuff and I know the party is so great because she planned every bit of it, so, it’s—I think she’s distracted. Plus they’ve got that merger deal thing whatever corporate blah blah coming up this week and that’s weighing on her too. I mean, she was over there talking to him. I think she knows something’s off, but she’s got eight hundred things on her plate as usual.”

“What about his other close besties?” Ned asks. “Like the me’s and you’s?”

Peter searches out Happy and Rhodey in the crowd, and finds them over by the third buffet table, and they’re both looking at Tony too. Their gazes are narrowed and they’re whispering back and forth at each other, and Peter knows just from the way they look that they’re thinking along the same lines he is.

“They seem suspicious,” Ned says. He climbs over the couch awkwardly, and stands next to Peter. “Does Tony even like big parties like this? I feel like the last one you told me about—”

“Since the whole saving the world thing he likes to be around everybody a lot just to make sure they’re all good,” Peter says, knowing because Tony discussed the party with him ahead of time to make sure he’d be okay being around so many superheroes. _Let’s not do fanboy mode. Spider-Man’s cooler than all of them, anyway._ “We’re doing the family party on Sunday afternoon.”

“Aww,” Ned says.

Peter sighs. “Back to the matter at hand—I’m going over there. Something’s wrong, he’s not drunk, it’s—it’s something else. I don’t know.”

“If there’s a bad guy here—you know what, I feel safe,” Ned says, looking over as Thor and Bruce pass him by. “I think I’ll make it.”

“Be right back.” Peter says. He weaves around the chattering groups, watching as Tony yawns big and long. Peter is a little bit irritated that nobody is around him right now, on his birthday, especially the first fucking one after he saved the damn world. They’re lucky he’s still alive. They’re lucky he has both arms. They’re lucky he’s even _here_. People should constantly be gathered around him listening to his stories because he’s the coolest person here. It’s his _birthday_. Just another example of Tony being criminally underappreciated, and it makes Peter’s face go red with anger.

“Hey, lookit you, short stuff,” Tony says, grinning at him as Peter comes closer. “What’s wrong? Why’re—why’re we so fired up?” He sways when he talks and the chair he’s sitting on swivels dangerously.

Peter sits next to him, holding him by his shoulders. “Tony—”

“Remember when you would only call me Mr. Stark?” Tony laughs. “God, kid, we literally had to go through hell and back to get you to stop that shit—”

“You haven’t been drinking tonight, right?” Peter asks, and Tony keeps laughing, swaying back and forth. “I didn’t see—”

“I mean, I _guess_,” Tony says, his eyes widening. “I don’t—shit, I don’t remember. Must have, right? Feeling like this.”

“What do you feel like?” Peter asks. 

“Like a scrambled egg on the sidewalk on a sunny day,” Tony says. He meets Peter’s eyes again and snorts, shaking his head. “You’re an incredible human being, you know that, Pete? You know that? I hope you know that.”

Peter laughs a little bit. “Yeah, so are you, but right now—”

“No, no, for real,” Tony says, leaning over until he’s completely off his chair, and Peter has to move with him, because he’s not staying upright. “You make me so proud, kid, you’re the best of us, all of us, even Captain Moral Fiber.”

Compliments are always disarming to Peter, especially from Tony, and he remembers Ned saying once how people tell the truth when they’re drunk, but that reminds him that Tony isn’t drunk, he doesn’t even smell like he’s drunk, and something’s wrong, something’s wrong, compliments aside. 

“Tony, something’s wrong,” Peter says. He holds him up, and starts to march him over to Rhodey and Happy, but then Tony stops him with a hand on his chest.

“Nope,” Tony says. His face goes a little green. “Uh. Shit, Pete—” He snorts, rolling his eyes, and covers his mouth with his free hand. “Uh. Would rather not puke in the middle of all these people—”

“Okay,” Peter says, breath catching in his throat. “Okay, bathroom.”

They’re starting to gather looks, which makes Peter angrier, because no one was paying attention to Tony a moment before and it’s his damn _birthday_, and Happy, Rhodey and Pepper immediately converge on them as Peter veers towards the hallway where the bathroom is. 

“What the hell is going on?” Happy asks. “He’s been acting weird as all hell—”

“Ever since he was talking to Fury,” Rhodey says, following close behind.

“Babe—” Pepper starts, her hand on Tony’s back.

“I think someone spiked his drink,” Peter says, glancing around at the three of them as Tony leans into in, gagging a little into his own hand. Peter tries to speed up, even though he wouldn’t blame him if he puked before they get to their destination. 

Everyone starts talking all at once, and there’s a lot of cursing and exclaiming which makes Tony laugh, and gag again. 

“Who in fresh hell—”

“All we’ve got in here are literal heroes, magazine cover heroes—”

“You think it was a prank? Like that time Clint gave everybody the pot brownies?”

“Honey, Tony, you said you’d had three goddamn vodka tonics—”

“He has no idea what he’s talking about,” Peter says, hoisting him up a little higher. They’re only steps away from the bathroom but it feels like it’s gonna take ten years to get there, and the hallway seems small and loud despite the fact that they’ve left the party behind. 

“Hey, hey, Spidey,” Tony protests, but then he heaves again.

Peter clicks his tongue and keeps talking. “I’ve had a bad feeling for a while, looking at him, I don’t even think he was drinking—”

“He’s been on that tomato juice kick for a while,” all four of them say at once. 

“Jesus, he’s gonna puke any minute—” Rhodey says. 

“Go look around for anybody weird,” Peter says. “I don’t think it’s a prank, I’ve got—I’ve got a bad feeling. I said that, but, yeah.”

“On it,” Rhodey says, patting Tony on the shoulder and turning to head back towards the party. 

Pepper pets the base of Tony’s neck and Happy pushes the bathroom door open when they get there. “Happy,” she says. “Can you go watch the cameras please? Go over the last, maybe, hour and a half?”

“Got it,” Happy says.

“Ugh, so fucking embarrassing,” Tony mutters, and Peter rushes him into the nearest stall and makes sure he doesn’t slam his face into the toilet before he spills his guts into it. “Jesus, sorry, kiddo.”

“Don’t apologize, someone roofied you,” Peter says, glancing back as Pepper stands in the entrance to the stall, her eyes worried.

“God, no, no way,” Tony says, and he laughs, puking again. “This isn’t—fuck—this isn’t college. Where’s—oh Jesus—where’s Rhodey?”

“Trying to help you,” Pepper says. “Dammit, I should have realized something was off, baby, I’m sorry.”

“I wouldn’t have realized if I didn’t have a literal built in alarm system,” Peter says, looking back at her. He watches as Tony flops down, leaning against the stall wall.

“Why the fuck did we put stalls in here, baby?” Tony asks, looking up at Pepper as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Why? This is—this is—living quarters—” He doesn’t finish his sentence, just widens his eyes and holds out his hands. 

Pepper chews on her lower lip, and glances at Peter. “Peter, sweetheart, I’ll be right back, can you stay with him? I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go get him a change of clothes and maybe kick everybody out. And ask Helen how we can flush this out of his system.”

“I’ll be right here,” Peter says, nodding at her. 

“I love you!” Tony calls after her. “Light of my life!”

“Love you too,” she yells, and Peter hears the door close. 

He sighs, looking at Tony. “Tell me if you need to puke again,” he says. 

Tony narrows his eyes at him, and he’s still swaying despite the fact that he’s sitting and leaning on something. “Yeah,” he says. “Try not to puke on you.”

“I think we can move past it,” Peter says, smiling a little bit.

Tony snorts. “You’re all angry tonight, webs,” he says. “Like a little—mini Hulk. Go tell Bruce, we’ve got mini Hulk.”

Peter shakes his head, and looks at him hard, trying to get him to focus for just a second. “Tony, there’s like, a bad guy here or something. I don’t think anyone would genuinely roofie you for fun, and I’m like 95 percent sure that you got roofied—”

“I’m thankful for your service,” Tony says, smiling at him. “Always on my team. Amazing. I’m—kid, I’m bursting with pride. I’m telling May. You deserve—something. I don’t know. A new Lego set. A car.”

Peter really doesn’t wanna laugh at him, considering the situation, and he ducks his head down and tries really, really hard to stifle his giggles. “I’m gonna go wet a towel so you can wipe your face,” he says. He pats Tony’s knee. “Stay there.”

“Staying,” Tony says. 

Peter pushes himself to his feet, trying to sort through all the insanity in his head. He walks over to the sink and grabs one of the fancy red towels, putting it under the tap and running the water.

“Uh, Pete,” Tony says. 

“Yeah?” Peter asks, making sure the water isn’t hot. “You okay?”

“There’s—”

Something hits him hard in the back of his head before he hears the end of Tony’s sentence, and he hits the counter, his face smashing into the mirror. The blow would have knocked anyone else the fuck out, but Peter just blinks around the hazy dizziness, turning and immediately grabbing Whoever The Hell This Is by the throat, shoving them against the wall. 

“Holy _fuck_,” the dude says, trying to swat at Peter’s hand. “What the hell? Who the hell are _you?_”

Peter’s got glass in his face and he winces as he reaches up and plucks it out, tossing it back towards the counter. He hears Tony stumbling around, trying to get to his feet, and Peter stares at the asshole in front of him. He looks—familiar. Like Peter’s seen him somewhere before. He’s wearing a black hoodie, like he thought that would help him be stealth.

“Justin _fucking_ Hammer,” Tony says, crawling out of the stall and wincing like everything is too bright. “What the _fuck—_”

“Anthony, who is this twink? Why’s he so strong?”

“He’s—wait, Justin Hammer?” Peter exclaims, holding him tighter and shoving him harder against the wall. “This is the guy with the drones! From the Expo! The one that almost killed me!”

“That shit still—fries my brain,” Tony says, bracing himself against the wall and pushing himself up. 

“_Why is he so strong?_” Hammer whisper-yells.

“He’s Spider-Man,” Tony shrugs, yawning again. 

Peter’s head whips around so hard that it nearly snaps off his shoulders, and Tony grits his teeth when their eyes meet, like he knows what he did. Peter sighs, heavily, and knows he can’t blame him for anything he does while he’s like this. But future Tony is gonna be real pissed at his Roofied self. 

“Well,” Hammer says. “Okay, that, that makes—”

Peter directs his anger to Hammer. “You did this,” he says. “You did this to him.”

“Well, yeah,” Hammer says, still holding onto Peter’s arm with both of his hands. “I mean, who did you think did it? Thor? For shits and giggles?”

“Why did you do it?” Peter says, getting closer to him, trying to be menacing. “Are you stupid or something? There are a billion superheroes here—”

“And look how far I got,” Hammer says, tilting his head at Peter.

“Pete, he’s nothing,” Tony says, trying to gesture towards him, and he yawns again. “He’s a rat. Jesus, I’m tired.”

“I _just_ wanted to get Anthony’s help with something,” Hammer says, scoffing. “I was gonna kidnap him—just for a couple hours, Jesus—and force some, uh, advice out of him, for a newly escaped convict, and then I was gonna drop him off, no harm, no foul—”

“A lot of harm and foul,” Peter says, almost nose to nose with him now. He points over at Tony with his free hand. “You drugged him. You messed him up!”

“Oh, it’s fine. A little concoction of my own making, very proud, very proud. And Jesus, it was too easy, frankly, for the supposed security this place claims,” Hammer says. “Hogan should be ashamed. Ashamed. I got all the way up here, got to the prize himself, _drugged him in front of all these assholes—_” He stops talking so he can laugh, and Peter’s blood boils.

“Hey, Pete, you’re bleeding,” Tony says, his brows furrowing. He stares for a long second, tons of emotions flickering across his face. He looks back at Hammer, and rushes at him before Peter can do anything, tackling Hammer to the ground.

“Stupid asshole,” Tony says, punching Hammer in the face, though, in his current state, it doesn’t look like it lands with much finesse. “Making my kid bleed—”

Hammer turns up his nose. “Tony, Tony, this is great, real fun,” he says, patting Tony’s waist. “But—”

Peter quickly pulls Tony off of him with hands hooked under his arms, and he deposits him behind him. Tony is still trying to throw punches. Peter turns, just as Hammer is trying to scramble to the door, and Peter punches him square in the nose. This one lands a little better than Tony’s did, and Hammer unceremoniously crumples back down to the tile, unconscious. 

The door opens fast, and hits Hammer in the side of the head.

“Hey,” Tony yells, as Happy appears in the doorway. “You’re supposed to knock.”

“What the fuck is this?” Happy asks, and he pushes his way inside, with Pepper and Rhodey on his heels. 

Peter moves over to help Tony back to his feet and God, he smells like puke. Peter holds onto him anyway, and figures he’s gonna be totally out in just a little bit, if the yawning is any indication.

“He broke in, somehow,” Peter says, as Pepper moves to Tony’s other side and supports him. “I don’t know, he was trying to kidnap Tony. He gave him something.”

“Peter’s bleeding,” Tony announces, kicking out one foot, trying to shove Hammer’s leg away. “Red alert. Priority one.”

Peter’s face goes a little hot. 

“When the hell did this dickhead even get out of prison?” Rhodey asks, staring down at him. “How? They wouldn’t have released him and I can’t picture him staging an escape—”

“He did,” Peter says. “He told us. No idea, but we gotta—take care of Tony, like now.” He’s so exasperated.

“And the blood,” Tony says. “My kid is _bleeding_, fuck’s sake.”

“Helen’s waiting for us, we’ll move up to the med wing,” Pepper says, patting Tony on the back. “We’ll take care of both of you.”

“We’ll take out the trash,” Happy says, glaring down at Hammer. 

~

Tony falls asleep after five minutes with Helen, and there isn’t much to do other than give him fluids and some oxygen and wait for him to wake up. Happy and Rhodey make sure to make Tony’s closer friends feel accordingly bad about not noticing what was going on, and then they immediately start on upping security. Thor and Nat handle Hammer, while Clint finds out just how in fresh hell he got out of The Raft.

Peter and Pepper wait for Tony to wake up. 

Peter has three text threads going: one with May, who’s on her way. One with Ned, who is still way too excited to have been a part of this at all. And one with Natasha, who swears Hammer won’t ever reveal Peter’s identity. Or escape from prison again. And Peter is sure that she wouldn’t be saying it if she didn’t mean it.

Hours and hours go by, and Tony snores. Pepper encourages Peter to sleep too, and he only wakes up once, when May brushes his hair back and kisses his forehead. He smiles at her, glances at Tony to make sure he’s still out, and then he drifts off again. 

“Buddy.”

Someone is shaking Peter gently, a familiar hand on his arm. 

“Pete.”

Peter gasps awake when he realizes it’s Tony who’s talking to him. Tony smiles, and he looks a lot better than he did the last time Peter saw him—he’s sitting up in bed now, only a little pale. Peter scoots his chair closer, smiling back. He sees May and Pepper out in the hallway, talking to Happy. 

“Kid,” Tony says, with a sigh. “I don’t remember one single thing about the party, which is a feeling I thought I’d left far, far in the past, but apparently dumbass Justin Hammer decided to come in and wreak some havoc.”

“He’s the worst,” Peter says. 

“Yeah, Happy’s real embarrassed that he even got in here,” Tony says. “So is everybody else, apparently. Pepper’s been taking lots of calls.”

“I mean, hopefully one of us would have taken him out if he actually got a hold of you,” Peter says. He shudders to think.

“_You_ did all that,” Tony says. “They told me everything. You took care of it, you noticed, you knocked the hell out of him, all the while dealing with a very drugged-up me.”

Peter shakes his head. “My spidey sense was going crazy and I just—I don’t know, you were acting weird. I wasn’t sure if you were gonna drink at the party but it just—I don’t know, it didn’t feel like regular drunk. Not that I know anything about being drunk.”

“You’re the damn hero,” Tony says, looking at him fondly. “And I’m the asshole who told Hammer your identity. I’m sorry, Pete, Jesus.”

“You couldn’t help it,” Peter says. “For real. He messed you up.”

Tony nods, grimacing. “I literally cannot _believe_ I allowed Justin Hammer to lace my drink. Him. Of all people. It’s like—an infant getting the better of you in a card game.”

“He was stupid and I didn’t like him.”

Tony snorts. “But for real, and everybody’s saying it—something really bad could have happened if it wasn’t for you. That guy’s an idiot but he’s an idiot with a grudge. So thank you. I’m really proud of you. You—you had my back, kid.”

“Of course,” Peter says, grinning. _I always will._

“And whatever dumb shit I did, just—embarrassing shit, forget about it, okay? Wipe it from your mind.”

“Oh no, you gave me primary control of all your suits and workshops,” Peter says. “And while you were sleeping I locked you out entirely. So there’s that.”

Tony narrows his eyes but he grins, sinking a little lower into his bed. “Alright, I guess I deserve that. You’re the only one with any kind of awareness around here.”

Peter laughs, palming the back of his neck. “The family birthday party is gonna be way better. Nobody weird is gonna break in and it’ll just—it’ll just be better.”

“Definitely,” Tony says. He looks at Peter for a long moment, a soft smile on his face. “I mean, when it really comes down to it—you guys are all I need. And a new damn security system.”

Peter grins. “Well, Happy’s on that. His pride is at stake. And oh, I forgot. You owe me a new Lego set. You promised, so.” He doesn’t mention the car.

“You can have _seven_ new Lego sets, how’s that?” Tony says, raising his eyebrows at him. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Peter says.

“I’m not,” Tony says, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “You deserve Legos and Legos you shall have. Now let’s go, I need some of that birthday cake. There better be some left, after what the hell I’ve gone through.”

Peter gets up, walking alongside him. “Oh, I called down to make sure they saved you the second tier.”

Tony beams at him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Pete. You really are my hero.”


End file.
